Hey everyone,
I hope everyone is well...
I want to raise some of my feelings today. Somethings that are personal and I believe will be interesting for all my readers, friends and family to know.
Today...I was thinking about the people that are close to me. Now...I know there are a few people out there who haven't talked to me for a week, months or even years but what can I say to you guys.
I know that sometimes I have made decisions myself about our relationships. I know that maybe you see my 'ignorance' and run away from contacting me, just in case I may say 'F*ck off' but that may not be the case. I know that I have this principle that either you live with me or without me. I know it is harsh and may hurt some of you. However, I have been hurt so many times and now I do not even forgive everyone.
I know I always say we should forgive and forget and I do practice it. Then comes a time, when I feel that you are not listening to me. There comes a time when you will not see the bigger picture. There comes a time when I am right (it happens sometimes) and you may be wrong. I want to make things better but you may keep repeating the same things again and again. I want you to find the right exit but you keep going round and round the roundabout. I open my eyes and see the clear picture but you may have your eyes open but you have a blurred vision. When I have used up all my energy and I beg that you make the right choice then that is the end for me. This comes the end of the 'forgiving and forgetting' stage. Yes...if I do not forgive you then I do ignore you.
Do you think I like ignoring you? I dislike it. I want to feel loves just like everyone else does. I want to feel needed just like everyone does. I am not ashamed to say that I want to be loved and needed. I know that I give you so many chances and I make you feel loved and needed but why is it that you left me? When I need you right now...why are you not here? When I need to show you my love...why are your eyes not looking at my love? When I want you close to me...why do you run away from me? When I run away - how can you get close to me? I may be distant but I am the closest to you always, it is you that kept the distant.
I am just waiting for those few words that accept that I am right and that I was not wrong. I want you to realise that I never wanted the end the things the way they did...I wanted to prevent it but even I become weak and lose hope. I want you to realise that I always thought for the better and never for the worse. For you that is closest to me, I never want you to be away from me but if it has to be done then I will have to accept that.
This is for anyone that has not talked to me in a long time - it is just a reminder that I am always here for you but sometimes a compromise needs to be made. Sometimes there has to be a meeting point. Sometimes we have to accept the better even if it is difficult. If you get anything that is easy or go for an easy option...it does not make it better but worse for you. You appreciate things a lot more when everything is difficult for you. Do not write 'The End' in our book of relationships...try and continue with more chapters. Everything is achievable...we need to believe in ourselves and I am sure we can. Like I said...I always write for one person and will always continue to! Love you...
Take care and lots of love to everyone,
Rahul N. Singh
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