Hit or a flop?

Hi everyone.

Once again I am back to post on the blog. After one of the most tiring weeks I have ever had...I am mentally, emotionally and physically drained. I feel like life has been taken out of me! Despite all this, I smile for others. I do not want others to see me unhappy, I like to see others happy even if it means I make an extra effort to smile.

I remember the first blog post I did. I promised you all that I will tell you what goes in my mind at times. I am delivering that promise to you today! I will tell you around 10% of what is going on in this mind of mine! I do not want to tell you everything as some things are personal...

I noticed one thing in the last few posts I have done...from topics regarding my novel to OffBeat Fun...I have not received a great response in terms of comments. In terms of numbers, I have had a lot of views...infact more views than last month.

I look back and think about it. Have I failed? Is my blog a flop? People are not commenting so what is going wrong? Am I doing something wrong? Are my posts not interesting anymore? If not, then why? Is my OffBeat Fun going over the top now? Am I being too harsh in OffBeat Fun? These questions have gone through my mind after someone told me that my blog is failing. These questions eventually went on towards my novel. I started to not believe in my abilities as a novelist. I stopped believing in my novel. I stopped believing that I could write successfully. I had even stopped writing anymore on my novel...my mind just refused to write.

I know I would get people who will dislike my work, it is natural. I can be the best but people will still pick faults. I have so many questions but who do I share them too? This is when I wonder is there anyone out there that I can call my own? God is with me as always, infact He has been the driving force for me in the past few days. I have cried and wept but it is He who has blessed me with a few friends that talked to me about being optimistic. They even showed me an interview which I will talk about later. The people who I expected to be there for me, were not there. Maybe I did not allow them to, I do become a recluse when I am sad and upset! I guess there is a hidden passion within me and that is to be loved by everyone.

I look back at the criticism. Someone said to me in a private conversation that my blog is a flop. Then my answer was simple is why don't you make yourself a blog and do a better job. If you don't like what I write then don't visit. But I know you will visit, I cannot be ignored...you will want to know what I write. If you don't like me commenting on other actors or actresses or on whoever, I do not care. I am not bothered. If I praise only SRK then that is what I will do. I do what I feel is best. By the way it is true, the name SRK sells, it brings in people! If Big B and Aamir Khan can do it then so can I!

I respect everyone's views even if you say I am a terrible blogger but one thing I can't tolerate is someone telling me what I should do with my blog. I hate the whole concept of being told what to do. I will write what I want to write and that is my comeback. Infact I do not need to make a comeback...I am always going to do what I do best and that is by being me. I do not change for anyone.

I have this saying that 'In order to know what success is...you need to know how failure feels like.' This month I have not had many comments to my posts but OK you can say I have failed there. But I have brought in a lot of people to read my blog. It has been successful in the number of visits.

I watched an interview of SRK yesterday. He said and I do quote this 'If you get up in the morning and just think you are the best and things will work out, you will become the best.' This motivated me in the sense that I am the best in what I do, no one can write like me, no one has the creativity that I have. I have noticed with my novel, I have improved so much as a novelist. I am not being pompous but I am special in my own way. Everyone is special in their own way.

So the question is my blog a hit or a flop? I think it is a hit and my aim is to make it a blockbuster. On average I have 300 visits every month, I want to make that to 3000! I will take criticism and I will prove to you that I am better than you think I am. I believe in my abilities which leads to believing in myself. I have started writing my novel again with a lot of passion. I do not write with the mind...I write from the heart.

Thanks for reading everyone. I had to just say everything. I do not think I am lowering myself by writing what I have wrote. I am just a normal person with an aim in life and I will do whatever it takes to become the best. I hope you all keep good till my next post on the blog. So... take care and lots of love from me!

Rahul N. Singh

OffBeat Fun: Ram Gopal Varma ki Chai(Tea)!

Hi OffBeat Fun readers,

Hope all is well with you and I hope that all of you have read my previous post which was about how 'Love is Complicated' is a character-driven novel. My week has gone really well. I have found another thing I love and that is the choreography to Satrangi Re from Dil Se. Maybe that will be another OffBeat topic one day!

The new OffBeat Fun topic is more of a review of Sarkar Rani, sorry Sarkar Raj! You will see why I say Sarkar Rani later on. However the question is has Ram Gopal Varma (RGV) lost the plot? The original Sarkar was his best film of late in terms of box office success and critical acclaim. However, we have seen RGV give us flops like Nishabd, RGV Ki Aag and Darling and that was all in ONE year!

RGV literally got any review that said something negative about the film and wrote comments about it on his blog! Now, the question is why am I attacking RGV? Well, he is the first director I know that has made a review of reviews! Yes! I am telling the truth! He certainly has, I mean I knew that the failure of Aag got to his head but seriously a review of reviews. RGV Sarkar Ra...j and criticised it. He even personally criticised the critics themselves. I guess RGV wont be a 'Darling' for the critics anymore! Also the fact that you can't look beyond the Bachchans just shows you are a star-struck director, who will never move on and do a brilliant film! If you can, then prove me wrong!

Back to Sarkar Rani...it was a film with bad editing, terrible camera-work, shoddy screenplay, too many close-ups of Aish's wooden face, Abhishek's one angry young man expression and Big B doing the best with giving a few expressions. The other thing I did not like was how dark the film was. There was not much light in the film and at times there was a need to squint my eyes to make who was on the screen.

Another reason why RGV has lost the plot. I will quote what he said: 'But when she emoted as Anita, I was shocked. She's a truly intense actress. She understood the nuances of Anita's character completely. I was taken aback. Her intensity matches her beauty, which says a lot.' Personally I don't understand this. I watched the movie and laughed when Aish cried. I have to point this out but she didn't know how to cry. Also she had the same expression throughout the film and was not convincing at all. I strongly do recommend Aish some acting lessons. Forget acting lessons, do a whole crash course on how to act! So when I look at what RGV says I don't really believe it and he did the same thing about Big B with RGV Ki Aag, so I guess I should have known better! If Ramu, Bollywood ka mamu over-exaggerates a performance just like the above example, you know from there that the actor has done a terrible job!

Also as we know that Abhishek's wife dies in the movie and you know you expect the guy to take his time mourning his wife's death. Well, doesn't Abhi's character do the expected? Yes, he makes a move on Aish! I was like what the fish is going on here? This guy has lost his wife and now is in love with Aish. There was no chemistry between the two either! Absolutely terrible storyline there! RGV what was you thinking?!

Most of all, the one thing that RGV did with Sarkar Rani was that in this film there was no moment of Nishabd (silence), well all the time you heard the chant of 'Govinda' actually at the end of the film all I had in my head was Govinda (not the actor)! Well done RGV, you left us Nishabd with shock. You seriously made everyone go mad with the Govinda chant. I don't understand why Govinda was mentioned, I expected the actor Govinda to come...I was totally let down, he didn't come. I am sure the film would have done better with him in there!

Now the main climax of this post goes with the climax of the film. What the hell was with the climax of the film RGV? I mean, come on having Aishwarya ordering 'Ek cup chai' what was you thinking? It totally wrecked the film! I hope you do not make her the Sarkar unless you already have! She is terrible and no way can she have the intensity that Big B or Abhi possess. When she said that dialogue I felt cheated. I came to watch Sarkar Raj and came out with Sarkar Rani! Now you may have a film called RGV ki Aag...if you make a sequel to Sarkar Rani...then you should call it RGV KI Chai!

Right that is it readers. All I am going to say is that I hope you enjoyed the OffBeat topic and please take it with humour! It is not to be taken seriously, it is just a little joke and take it like one! Anyway please give me your comments on this! If you loved it then please tell me you loved it! If you hated it then please tell me you hated it! Only joking...tell me what you think of Ram Gopal Varma or your views on Sarkar Raj!
Take care and lots of love,
Rahul N. Singh

'Love is Complicated' is character driven.

Hello Readers,

I hope that all of you are well and happy. It is so great to be back on the blog. Although I had planned an OffBeat Fun topic, I decided to leave that for another date, possibly the start of next week.

First of all, I have chosen five people to read the first draft of 'Love is Complicated' which is great news. Obviously, they answered the questions that were required brilliantly. Those that did e-mail me to be part of the five but didn't get chosen, thanks for applying. Maybe for my next project, you may be chosen. Although I promise you, if my novel is published I will give you a signed copy personally!

So lets get into the topic of the post. I have read some novels and I know alot of authors who write novels that tend to be plot-driven in their approach. Which as you know means, that these authors guide the plot to make their story complete.

My novel is different, with 'Love is Complicated' it is character-driven. I personally believe that only the character makes the story. As we know Rahul makes the story. The sacrifice, love, faith and the past, present and future are what the character decides, they guide the plot to their story instead of the plot guiding the characters.

Now I do hope with my future novels that I am able to continue writing stories which are character-driven as I find them interesting for myself and from what I know, all of you have enjoyed this concept so far.

Now the fact is how do I make the novel character-driven? What process do I need to go through to do it. It is quite obvious, I have to become the character. You only know how Rahul feels because I feel it, you only know how Naina feels because I feel it and you only know how Nikhil feels because I feel it. It is fairly simple, I have to become the character, otherwise the novel would be going no where and most likely it would have turned out to be a plot-driven novel.

At times, I do lose myself into the characters, it happens. The matter is, I have to get out of it and it is not as easy as it seems. But that should be a post for another time.

Well, that is it for now. It is fairly simple and shortish. I hope you enjoyed reading it and please...please...please give me comments so I know how you feel after each post. If you don't know how to post a comment, click here. On that page just go where the heading is 'Comments'. Have a good week and I am looking forward to some comments!

Thanks for reading and lots of love,

Rahul N. Singh

Love is Complicated-Improved preview!

Hello everybody!

Hope everybody is feeling good and are in the mood to read! I have promised to many that there will be a new improved preview and here and that I have fulfilled that promise.
This is a special post for us all! One reason is that so much has changed from the last preview you read, it has been improved so much that I am sure your love to read the whole novel will improve tenfold! The second reason is that you can all download it from a website, the link is given right at the bottom of this post!
Well you all have a lot to read and I am expecting some comments! The more comments I receive the more motivated, the more inspired I feel to finish the novel as quickly as possible. By the way...it is very long!

So happy reading!

Love is Complicated

Love is always complicated. It is never easy to find the one that you love. Why is it so difficult to find your true love? Sometimes we find our true love but our true love loves someone else. That someone else also loves our true love. So where do you stand? This is the story of Rahul who loves Naina but Naina loves Nikhil, Nikhil also loves her back. Where does Rahul stand? The story is about one man in life who wants to achieve his love. How he copes with the everyday problems that we may have in our lives. This is a love story but has many social messages behind it. Such events in the story you may not feel is needed but are essential in Rahul’s path of love. Before we get to the story of these three, we are going to ask them a few questions, so you know a little bit about them.
Describe your love to me in one sentence?
Nikhil: My love is amazing, out of this world, she is my best friend.
Naina: My love I do not know who he is, or where he is? Does my make-up set count? (Giggling)
Rahul: My love is beauty personified, she means the world to me and I would sacrifice everything for her.
You described your love. Now what is love?
Nikhil: Love is physical and mental. Like physical, you are always there for the one you love. Mentally by you know being there to support her when she upset or angry.
Naina: Love is friendship. Actually, your best friend is the one you love. The feeling of love is, I can’t explain. You cannot explain love, for everyone it is different.
Rahul: Love is friendship. Your best friend is your love. Love makes you feel great, love makes you sing love songs and love makes you do crazy things.
Now who do you love?
Nikhil: I love Naina.
Naina: I love…... I think I do love Nikhil.
Rahul: Naina, my beautiful Naina. Look I am smiling when I say her name!
So would you sacrifice your love for your true love’s happiness?
All remain silent…..
Rahul: Anyway, let’s leave the questions. By the way, this is my room, as you can tell I love my Bollywood movies.
Naina, Naina, Naina, I want to tell you why I love Naina and how it happened. I have loved her for a long time. We went to university together, I always would help her with her studies and we both did the same course.
She was different from other girls, her long, straight black hair, I used to love it when she would play with her hair. Not only did she love touching her own hair, she loved messing around with my hair. Her smile lights up my day, when she would come to my room for help her fragrance would make my room into a heaven. She is the best. I remember the day I fell in love with her. It was kind of love at first sight. She sat by me in the lectures and she was in my classes. I used to talk to her and I didn’t know she lived near me. One day I saw her walking the same route as me, so I ran to talk to her. We started talking about ourselves and how we finding the course. Then we were by her halls of residence and we said our goodbyes. When she got to her door, she turned around and smiled at me. I got scared; I thought she might be thinking I am crazy or something, you know just staring at her. Just that one sweet smile, I felt a sensation run through my body. I got home and I couldn’t stop smiling. I was feeling great and out of this world.
For some reason, I had a good female following but I wasn’t interested. Why? I was only interested in Naina. Naina always used to pester me saying that this girl likes me or that girl likes me. I just could not see other girls the way I saw Naina. Naina was special to me, she meant a lot to me and I think the girls could see that.
Naina used to have her boyfriends. Her last one was Raj. Whenever she did have a boyfriend, it used to hurt me. I really wanted to tell her I love her. Just when I felt I could tell her, she would say she likes this guy or she is now going out with this guy.
Me and Naina were clubbing partners. Naina never liked to be with any other lad at a night club. She did not have high opinions on most of the Asian lads there, so Naina always used to dance with me and would only go to the clubs with me unless she had her boyfriend with her. She always liked me for keeping to my roots and she appreciated it. This is where me and Naina got close due to our similar personalities. She likes the same movies and music as me.
I even started dreaming of her. I know this sounds cliché but whenever I saw a Bollywood movie, I imagined the hero and heroine as me and her. I know very cliché. Oh! Naina is here now, the one I love. I might tell her I love her today. Let’s see!

Naina came in the room and sat by Rahul, she seemed annoyed with something. Rahul noticed it straight away as usual. Naina was always happy to see Rahul but today she looked angry and upset.
“Naina, what’s happened? Are you upset?” asked Rahul. Rahul knew that the best way to speak to Naina when she was upset was to ask her what happened. If he didn’t ask then Naina wouldn’t speak to Rahul for atleast a day. It was hard for her to go through a day without talking to him.
Rahul was very good looking. Most girls found him attractive, but he was a quiet guy. Even though he was quiet, his charisma and style caught anyone’s attention. Rahul was of average height and had long black hair and brown eyes. Naina felt that Rahul’s oval shaped eyes were his best feature. They showed his innocence and showed his deepest feelings. He didn’t really have any girlfriends and the only girl he was very close to was his best friend Naina.
“Rahul, it’s nothing. Well, you know Nikhil hasn’t phoned me and you know I really like him!” answered Naina. Naina, she was every guys dream. Her problem was that she only liked one person, Nikhil. Nikhil, was as good-looking as Rahul, however the personalities were very different. At university, Nikhil and Rahul were popular with the girls. Nikhil and Rahul were not as close but they were both close to Naina.
“Don’t worry Naina. He always phones you anyway. You never know, he might be busy at home or something has come up.” Rahul smiled and put his arm around Naina. Naina always spoke to Rahul; she felt at peace whenever she would confide in him. It was a unique friendship. A friendship where there were no secrets only the truth, except for one. One secret, it had to be hidden for the sake of friendship, well for friendship, anything. That is right? Rahul often thought about it. Can you risk your friendship with one secret?
Rahul would look into Naina eyes as she would talk about her problems. She would also say Rahul wasn’t like other guys. Naina gave a lot of respect to Rahul, he had always been good with Naina.
“Rahul, why do you always listen to me? Don’t you find me boring sometimes?” asked Naina, smiling at Rahul. Rahul hesitated at the questions. Naina never asked these questions before.
“You know what, I am sick of listening to you and yeah you are boring. Actually, very boring,” said Rahul, with a cheeky smile. Naina got up and stood by Rahul, then started messing with his hair.
“Hey Naina, that is so unfair. I don’t mess your hair up!” shouted Rahul, getting up to the mirror and sorting his hair out. Rahul didn’t like anyone touching his hair.
“Rahul…I am very sorry. You know you’re the best person in the world. By the way I love messing your hair up. You get so wound up about your hair,” Naina was laughing. Rahul looked at her, his eyes showed he was annoyed.
“You know Naina, I am going to wreck your hair one day. By the way, you don’t need to start sucking up to me by saying I’m the best guy in the world.” Now Rahul was smiling at her.
“So I am forgiven then?” asked Naina.
“Yeah, I guess you are Naina. How can I be angry with you anyway?” Rahul asked Naina, who was anxiously looking at her phone. “Naina, he will phone you don’t worry.” Rahul looked at her and shook his head with a little grin.
“Sorry Rahul, I really want to talk to him. Should I? Like you know, ask him?”
“Naina, if you want to you can. Maybe you should wait for a bit and see how he feels about you. He might not be the right one Naina,” This was the point when Rahul felt something different. He felt as if he said the right thing to Naina.
“Hmm… you could be right Rahul. He might not be the right one. But why do I always feel safe with him? Why does he always make my day feel good? Rahul, I am not in love with Nikhil am I?” asked Naina, her cheeks had gone red. Rahul’s eyes filled up with tears, he couldn’t look at Naina. He wiped his tears before he faced her.
“Naina….No way! You’re in love with him. That’s so sweet,” said Rahul with a slight smile on his face. Now Naina noticed Rahul’s eyes, which were filled up with tears.
“Rahul are you thinking about your Dad?” asked Naina. Rahul’s Dad had died of cancer a year ago. Rahul was very close to his Dad but he forgot the pain of his loss when he was with Naina. Naina gave Rahul a hug and pulled his cheeks.
“Yeah, I was remembering Dad. Anyway, you love Nikhil. That is good news,” said Rahul, who looked at Naina and smiled.
“Rahul, I was remembering the days when we was at university. The days were so good then,” said Naina smiling.
“Yeah, they were. You remember the first time, me and you actually had a chat?” asked Rahul, looking at Naina, he couldn’t take his eyes of her.
“Oh God. That was the best chat I had ever had. What were you saying?” asked Naina, she was really excited by the topic.
“I think I said that I was average looking and just normal and you looked at me. Naina, your expression was so funny. It was like I had said a stupid thing.” Rahul stopped talking, he was remembering it in his mind but forgot to talk.
“Rahul, you did say a stupid thing. You are really handsome and you are extra special. But didn’t you offer me help with my studies?” asked Naina.
“Yeah, I did.”
“Then, we went on to Bollywood. That was the first thing we found out that we had in common. God Rahul, you made my day. Your favourite actor was Shah Rukh Khan and that was mine too. My favourite actress was Kajol and yours was Madhuri Dixit. Which is funny isn’t it? My mom’s name is Madhuri but my favourite actress is Kajol. Your mom’s name is Kajol and your favourite actress is Madhuri.” Naina burst out laughing. Rahul couldn’t stop laughing.
“Our favourite movie?” said Rahul.
“Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge,” they both said together and burst out laughing. Naina looked at Rahul.
“There was something about you, that you know, told me from inside to talk to you,” revealed Naina.
“Really? Why?” teased Rahul.
“I think it was because you were…decent. You would sit in lectures, listen to it but quietly look at the girls. The other thing I loved, was your respect for any girl. It was so sweet,” said Naina, pulling Rahul’s right cheek.
“I know I am a gentleman,” said Rahul sarcastically.
“You are a gentleman. You would always help girls and then you always sat by me. Talked to me. At first, I found you really annoying. You would know what the lecturer is saying but still talk to me. you would talk about how your Dad was telling you to take over the family business. How your mom makes the best curries. How you loved traditional girls. I used to think to myself is this guy for real? He does not shut up and what makes him think I am interested.” Naina stopped and looked at Rahul. “Then those eyes and that smile. God, you used to win me over and over again. I would say ‘Naina, no you are not going to fall for them.’ But what would happen. I would fall right into your happy trap. You were so cute now and now you are even cuter,” said Naina, pulling his left cheek now.
“Why are you praising me?” asked Rahul, who was clearly enjoying it.
“Well, you always praise me. You always say I have beautiful eyes and a sweet smile. You always say I’m a pretty girl with a sophisticated personality. You make me laugh Rahul,” laughed Naina, as she gave him a tight hug.
“You remember a lot about me, don’t you?” asked Rahul, who was shocked at what Naina was saying.
“Yeah, I remember a lot. You are my best friend. I love you so much that if anything came in between us, I would kill it,” said Naina, with her eyes wide open and used her hand to model a gun.
“You are so sweet. Wait, I remember when you got jealous,” said Rahul, pointing at Naina and laughing.
“Me get jealous?” asked Naina, who acted shocked.
“Yes, when Tanisha, sat next to me and started undoing my buttons in the lecture,” said Rahul winking at Naina.
“No, I wasn’t jealous. I was saving you from that evil girl. She only wanted sex with you. I wasn’t going to let any girl have sex with you,” said Naina, who looked a little sad.
“Hey, I am glad you saved me, but you was still jealous,” teased Rahul, poking Naina’s arm.
“Ouch, that hurt me Mister,” said Naina, rubbing her arm.
“Admit it, you was jealous,” said Rahul, who poked Naina’s arm again.
“Stop poking me.” Naina looked at Rahul angrily.
“Admit it that you was jealous.” Rahul poked her arm three times now.
“I will, but let me sit down in your arms.” Naina wanted to feel safe.
“Ok, now admit it.” Rahul said as Naina sat next to him, with his arms around her.
“Ok, I was slightly jealous. But you are my Rahul. I don’t want any girl wrecking your life. That Tanisha would have dated you and dumped you. I rather you madly loved someone and not told that someone,” said Naina looking up at Rahul.
“I am your Rahul now?” Rahul looked at her and smiled.
“Yeah, my Rahul,” said Naina and kissed him on the cheek.
“Look, only my girlfriend can kiss me.”
“I am your girlfriend. I am a girl and I am your friend.”
“Naina, I hate it when people say that.” Rahul gave an annoyed look at Naina.
“I know and you look cute when you are annoyed. It gives me another reason to kiss you.” Naina kissed him again.
“Naina, if I said I loved you what would you do?” asked Rahul, looking at the wall ahead.
Naina looked up at him. “I don’t know Rahul. I don’t love you in that way. I love you as a friend.”
“I see. Well that is good, because I don’t think I could ever love you.”
“Stop teasing me Rahul. You have to tighten your grip on me now,” ordered Naina.
“You know if someone just heard what you said, they would think we were doing something else,” joked Rahul. They both started laughing.
“People and their dirty minds,” commented Naina looking up at Rahul..
“Was that to me?” asked Rahul acting shocked.
“No, you are too decent to have a dirty mind, isn’t it Rahul?” said Naina sarcastically.
“Thanks. I know I am decent.” Rahul said with a great smile on his face.
“You are special Rahul.” Naina grabbed Rahul’s hand and kissed it.
“Thanks,” replied Rahul giving Naina a kiss on the cheek.
“What film did we watch together first at the cinema?” asked Naina randomly.
“What you forgot already?” replied Rahul, looking at Naina with a disappointed look.
“How can I forget silly?” said Naina cheekily.
“Then tell me what it is.” Rahul looked at Naina and shook his head.
“Excuse me Rahul. I do know. It was a SRK film obviously. It was Kabhi Kushi Kabhie Gham,” replied Naina, who looked at Rahul, she was so pleased with herself.
“Well done! You got it right. It wouldn’t have been shocking if you had forgot. But I am impressed. I will admit that,” admitted Rahul.
“You remember what we did after?” asked Naina.
“Didn’t we go to your flat?” replied Rahul, trying to remember exactly what they did.
“Yeah, we did. You stayed the night there because you couldn’t be bothered to go to your flat.” Naina looked at Rahul and smiled.
“Are you saying I am lazy because I lived a few doors away?” asked Rahul, pretending to be annoyed.
“Yeah, why else would you stay in my room?” teased Naina.
“Hey, I wouldn’t have done anything to you. You are not my type Naina,” replied Rahul sarcastically.
“You being sarcastic?” asked Naina, looking confused again.
“What do you think?” asked Rahul cheekily.
“You are my type actually. I just don’t want to destroy this friendship, otherwise I would have lost everything to you,” said Naina, who was doing her Bollywood acting. Rahul and Naina occasionally messed around by doing typical love dialogues from movies. How did they know that these film dialogues become true at the end?
“Naina, you overact. Instead of making me feel all loved up, you crack me up,” laughed Rahul. Naina turned around and pulled his cheeks.
“You are so horrible to me. I don’t know why I am friends with you,” said Naina, who was annoyed because she thought she acted very well.
“Well you are friends with me because you can’t stay away from me. Even when you had boyfriends,” commented Rahul, who said something very clever.
“Yeah, I couldn’t stay away from you because I love being criticised by you,” said Naina sarcastically.
“Ohhh, someone is very sarcastic tonight,” said Rahul laughing.
“Stop laughing and so what if I am sarcastic. Do you have a problem with that?” asked Naina.
“I have no problems. I always like to have you around me,” said Rahul, looking up the ceiling and closing his eyes.
“Oi, get out the dream world,” said Naina angrily.
Rahul still had his eyes closed. “You can’t stop me from dreaming,”
“I can’t believe the amount of times I was accused of cheating with you,” laughed Naina.
“Why can’t you believe it? The fact that you was with me most of the time, the poor lads were going to feel insecure,” said Rahul, still with eyes closed.
“Why should they?” asked Naina, as she sat next to Rahul. She grabbed his arms and put them around her.
“Well, no offence to them but I was better looking,” claimed Rahul smiling.
Naina started smiling. “You know what, you are better looking than them.”
“Thank you.” Rahul opened his eyes.
“Why don’t you go and get a girlfriend,” advised Naina.
“What pick a girl just like that? No way Naina. I need to love that girl first. I am not one of those guys that is just after one thing.” Rahul smiled at Naina and she knew he was being genuine.
“Yeah and that is the reason why you are my best friend.” Naina turned around and hugged Rahul.
“That is very sweet.” Rahul replied to Naina. He didn’t know whether today was different. Naina didn’t say anything different, she always said she found him better looking but he didn’t know why today seemed a little different, she seemed more comfortable. Maybe it was because she was sure about Nikhil and that she just had a lot of feelings as a friend for him. He thought it was probably because she was sure about Nikhil.
“I should go now Rahul.” Naina got up. Rahul stood up too.
“Ok.”
“Anyway, don’t tell anyone about Nikhil. I had better go now, mom will be making dinner now. You have to come to my house tomorrow, okay? Bye sweetheart,” said Naina hugging Rahul and kissing him on the cheeks.
“Bye Naina.” Rahul smiled at her, his smile was showing the pain in his heart.
“Oh yeah, you are the best.” said Naina laughing as she closed the door behind her. He felt that he was all alone now. Whenever Naina had to go home, he felt he had lost something. He wasn’t sure whether he would be losing Naina, as she was adamant in liking Nikhil, which could turn out to be love.
Rahul was sitting on his bed. Thinking about what Naina had said. It kept playing on in his mind. All his mind kept thinking of was Naina saying “Rahul, I am not in love with Nikhil am I?” Rahul was looking at the picture of Naina on his phone and crying. Rahul was saying his thoughts out loud.
“Why do I love her for? She can’t be mine, she loves Nikhil. What did I do wrong with Naina, that I don’t deserve her love? What has Nikhil done that I haven’t? I am there for her, day or night and I don’t deserve her love? I help her with her problems, don’t I deserve her love? Why does my heart feel happy when I am with her? Why do I smile when I see her beautiful face? Why do I love her messing up my hair? Why do I love her sweet tone when she talking to me? Why do I love her scent? Why does my heart yearn for a hug from her? Why does my heart yearn for her to say ‘I love you Rahul?’ Why do I get butterflies in my stomach when I see her? When I speak to her? When I hear her voice? Naina, why do I love you so much? I love you Naina, I love you very much. If you want Nikhil, I am going to do that for you. I want to see you happy, I want to see you smiling. I will do anything for you, Naina. Even if it means sacrificing my love for you, so you can be someone else’s.”
While Naina was in her bedroom, thinking about Nikhil. Naina was always thinking about Nikhil. She had been close to Nikhil a lot lately but she was always closer to Rahul. Rahul was her best friend and Naina wanted it to remain that way, she wanted him to be there whenever things were not going well. She always looked at him for advice. Rahul was there when she would argue with her family. Rahul was there when she needed help at university. He was always looking out for her. Naina felt so lucky to have Rahul as a friend. Nikhil was different, as much as Rahul did flirt, Nikhil seemed better. Naina felt something different about Nikhil but could not pin point what it was. She always would wonder why Rahul would go for no other girl but just spend time with her. She always wondered how Nikhil would feel for her. Naina wanted Nikhil to know. She got her phone, to text him. But she stopped. She thought again about it.
‘I could tell Rahul to tell Nikhil. He would do it for me. No, Rahul wouldn’t do it. Rahul would be too busy for that. Also Nikhil and Rahul are not that close. Maybe I’ll just go with the flow.”
The night passed. Both thinking about the person they love. One smiling and one crying. Naina was thinking about Nikhil and how life would be with him. While Rahul thought about Naina, the one girl he loves and will always love but will never get.
In the morning, Rahul woke up. He looked at his mobile phone, 10 miss calls off Naina. Rahul looked up at the ceiling, he was not sure whether he wanted to phone her. However he decided to call her back.
Naina looked at her phone. It was Rahul. Naina smiled and picked it up.
“Hello darling! How are you?”
“Hi Naina, I am good thanks. Just had trouble sleeping last night, I don’t know why. How are you anyway?”
“I am good aswell. Rahul I really want you to come over now. I need you. Will you come please?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there in half an hour. Is there anything else?”
“No but come here quick. Ok, bye sweetheart.”
“Bye,” said Rahul. He put his phone down and got ready to see Naina.
As Rahul was about to get into his car, he received a text message.
“It’s probably Naina. To Rahul’s surprise Nikhil sent a text. ‘Hi Rahul. Long time no see. Hope everything is good. I really need to talk to you about something. You want to go for a drink tonight? Text back. Nikhil.’ Just then Rahul realised he was going to be late to get to Naina’s house. Rahul sat in the car and drove to Naina’s house. Before he got out, Rahul remembered about Nikhil’s text. Rahul replied to the text. Naina saw Rahul’s car from her bedroom and ran downstairs to open the door. Rahul got out the car and saw Naina. He suddenly felt warmth in his heart. He smiled and Naina and walked to the front door.
“Hello Naina.” Rahul said with a smile on his face.
“Hey Rahul. Come inside.” said Naina. Rahul stepped into the house. The scent of the house, reminded him of the scent that Naina brought to his room. She smiled at Rahul and gave him a hug. They both then went upstairs to Naina’s bedroom.
“Rahul. I can’t keep this in for longer. I absolutely adore Nikhil. I really love him Rahul. I can’t stop thinking about him. When I think of him, I start smiling and I get a loving sensation in my body. You never guess what, I was having breakfast with mom and I was thinking of Nikhil and smiling randomly. Mom thinks there is something wrong with me. Well there is, I’m in love with Nikhil. Isn’t this amazing Rahul?” Naina was smiling, she was happy. Rahul could see her happiness. While she was speaking, he just kept looking into her eyes. Her eyes were big, nice brown eyes, full of love and warmth. Rahul smiled at her.
“Naina, you love him so much don’t you? He is so lucky. Well is this why you called me then?” asked Rahul, who just wanted to hear Naina voice. Even though the words she was saying were the equivalent of being stabbed in the heart continuously.
“Yeah, Rahul you are seriously the best friend anyone would love to have. You are so special to me. I don’t know what I would do without you. You always listen to me. You are so cute,” said Naina, who started pulling Rahul's cheeks. Rahul laughed and so did Naina. “You know Rahul you are great. The girl that you will love will be the luckiest person in the world. You are so special,” said Naina and Rahul was smiling.
“She is. She is very lucky and very special.”
“What you like someone? Tell me Rahul. Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I love my mom, Naina. She is my first and only love.”
“But who is your second love. Rahul tell me please.”
“She is like you. Sweet and innocent. Actually she is just like you.”
“Rahul you are so sweet. How can any girl not love you? Whoever doesn’t is crazy. You are so cute. I am sure you are going to tell me who this girl is?
“No the thing is….You know I….I….don’t know her name” said Rahul laughing. Naina just looked at Rahul with disbelief.
“Fine. Don’t tell me. Who am I to you anyway?” shouted Naina. She was angry with Rahul.
“When I know her name, the first person I am going to tell, is you Naina!”
“Very good. I wish Nikhil will tell me who he likes. You know like if he doesn’t like me then I can move on.”
“I am sure he likes you Naina. Plus, your beautiful and smart, what more does a guy want?”
“Thank you. Rahul, I love him, you know? I can’t stop thinking about him. I love him. Honestly Rahul, you are the only person that is always listening to me, whether I am moaning, complaining or just saying. You are the best friend that everyone wants and wishes for. I am so lucky to have you. I know I keep saying it but Rahul, I am very lucky to have you.” Naina smiled at Rahul. Rahul eyes were filling up with tears. The pain of hearing Naina say she loved Nikhil, was killing Rahul. It was like a slow poison that was travelling through his blood and had reached his heart, to give the most powerful pain, he had ever felt.
“Naina can I have a hug please?” asked Rahul. Naina didn’t even say anything and hugged him. Naina and Rahul hugged each other more tightly than usual. Rahul felt the warmth of her body. It was soothing the pain in his heart. He know felt ready to get Nikhil and Naina together. He felt more determined. He could feel the happiness that Naina was feeling; her heart was beating really fast.
“Anyway Naina, I better go now. I got to go to work for a while,” said Rahul, who was putting his jacket on.
“Alright then, Rahul you are coming back here later on?” asked Naina.
“Let’s see, I think I should be able to. I phone you later,” replied Rahul hugging Naina. He looked back at her as he opened the door and smiled. His eyes were showing his love for her. She smiled back at him and he closed the door behind him.
Soon as he left the house, Rahul went to his car and sat in there for five minutes, thinking about what Naina had said.
‘How can I tell you Naina, but you are that lucky girl.” The words of what Naina said were playing in his mind. He started the car and drove off to his house. On the way all he could think about Naina saying ‘The girl that you will love will be the luckiest person in the world.’ Rahul felt upset that he couldn’t tell Naina he loves her. He didn’t know why he didn’t have the strength to tell her. He had let himself down. He didn’t want to cause uneasiness in the friendship. He would rather have Naina in his life than not have her at all. The thought of making a barrier in their friendship, that he himself made, he know he could never bear the guilt. The guilt would be too heavy for his shoulders. He also knew that Nikhil would want to know from him if Naina had told him if she liked him or not. Rahul was in between them both and he wasn’t going to lie for his gain. He wasn’t going to be selfish. There was no need for him to be selfish. Rahul knew he truly loved Naina and he knew that one day he will be with Naina.

Thanks for reading. The link to the file is given below. Please give your comments and if you still want to be the lucky 5 to read my novel and have not got back to me, you have just around two weeks. The clock is ticking...

http://www.scribd.com/doc/3207232/love-is-complicatedimproved-preview

Love,
Rahul N. Singh