Hi everyone.
Once again I am back to post on the blog. After one of the most tiring weeks I have ever had...I am mentally, emotionally and physically drained. I feel like life has been taken out of me! Despite all this, I smile for others. I do not want others to see me unhappy, I like to see others happy even if it means I make an extra effort to smile.
I remember the first blog post I did. I promised you all that I will tell you what goes in my mind at times. I am delivering that promise to you today! I will tell you around 10% of what is going on in this mind of mine! I do not want to tell you everything as some things are personal...
I noticed one thing in the last few posts I have done...from topics regarding my novel to OffBeat Fun...I have not received a great response in terms of comments. In terms of numbers, I have had a lot of views...infact more views than last month.
I look back and think about it. Have I failed? Is my blog a flop? People are not commenting so what is going wrong? Am I doing something wrong? Are my posts not interesting anymore? If not, then why? Is my OffBeat Fun going over the top now? Am I being too harsh in OffBeat Fun? These questions have gone through my mind after someone told me that my blog is failing. These questions eventually went on towards my novel. I started to not believe in my abilities as a novelist. I stopped believing in my novel. I stopped believing that I could write successfully. I had even stopped writing anymore on my novel...my mind just refused to write.
I know I would get people who will dislike my work, it is natural. I can be the best but people will still pick faults. I have so many questions but who do I share them too? This is when I wonder is there anyone out there that I can call my own? God is with me as always, infact He has been the driving force for me in the past few days. I have cried and wept but it is He who has blessed me with a few friends that talked to me about being optimistic. They even showed me an interview which I will talk about later. The people who I expected to be there for me, were not there. Maybe I did not allow them to, I do become a recluse when I am sad and upset! I guess there is a hidden passion within me and that is to be loved by everyone.
I look back at the criticism. Someone said to me in a private conversation that my blog is a flop. Then my answer was simple is why don't you make yourself a blog and do a better job. If you don't like what I write then don't visit. But I know you will visit, I cannot be ignored...you will want to know what I write. If you don't like me commenting on other actors or actresses or on whoever, I do not care. I am not bothered. If I praise only SRK then that is what I will do. I do what I feel is best. By the way it is true, the name SRK sells, it brings in people! If Big B and Aamir Khan can do it then so can I!
I respect everyone's views even if you say I am a terrible blogger but one thing I can't tolerate is someone telling me what I should do with my blog. I hate the whole concept of being told what to do. I will write what I want to write and that is my comeback. Infact I do not need to make a comeback...I am always going to do what I do best and that is by being me. I do not change for anyone.
I have this saying that 'In order to know what success is...you need to know how failure feels like.' This month I have not had many comments to my posts but OK you can say I have failed there. But I have brought in a lot of people to read my blog. It has been successful in the number of visits.
I watched an interview of SRK yesterday. He said and I do quote this 'If you get up in the morning and just think you are the best and things will work out, you will become the best.' This motivated me in the sense that I am the best in what I do, no one can write like me, no one has the creativity that I have. I have noticed with my novel, I have improved so much as a novelist. I am not being pompous but I am special in my own way. Everyone is special in their own way.
So the question is my blog a hit or a flop? I think it is a hit and my aim is to make it a blockbuster. On average I have 300 visits every month, I want to make that to 3000! I will take criticism and I will prove to you that I am better than you think I am. I believe in my abilities which leads to believing in myself. I have started writing my novel again with a lot of passion. I do not write with the mind...I write from the heart.
Thanks for reading everyone. I had to just say everything. I do not think I am lowering myself by writing what I have wrote. I am just a normal person with an aim in life and I will do whatever it takes to become the best. I hope you all keep good till my next post on the blog. So... take care and lots of love from me!
Rahul N. Singh
