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Sometimes you can wonder what it is like to be normal. Being normal is said to be unique. The more unique I become, does that mean I am more normal? Or becoming more normal? The more I look into my world, the more uniqueness I see. The oneness of my world, it surely has become unique. I stand here, the rain dripping off my face, my eyes squinting to see what lies in front of me. Just as my eyes are trying hard to focus on what is in front of me, my mind is trying just as hard to cope with the pain I feel right now. This pain that leads straight to my heart, but this powerful rage engulfs my soul. This power that I have always searched for has finally been broken free, that power that was contained within me for a long, long time. How can I allow this to happen? I am going to allow this to happen, it is my life. I do what I please, as I please, whenever I please. As my mind speeds into change, I think about what I have witnessed. What am I going to do about this? This is what I cannot understand.
I am sick and tired of these two lives. Be good at home and then a monster at work. I wasn't a monster at work though, I don't think I was anyway. I didn't do anything wrong. I just gave loans out illegally! Oh wait...I lent people money and they gambled on horses. I got commission from it but that doesn't make me a bad man. I did it all for my family. My family that apparently loves me. Hmm loved me. This dark night is just what my family is going to be, what my wife is going to be. A dark past. A dark but distant memory.
This bench is soaking wet, I can feel my trousers sticking onto it, I hate it when that happens. It annoys me. It creates this anger that flows so freely in my blood now. I cannot explain yet what has caused all this. Do I even want to share it with my own self? I need to go for a walk, this bench, this wet bench, soaked with rain is irritating me. This park is so dark, full of silence. Silence is in the air, I can see a dim light. A dim light, that is what my wife is now to me. A dim light. Everything is finished. However, as everything finishes, another life is about to start. Another life is about to merge with my soul. That is what I do best. I am a criminal. I support the criminals, I give them money, I promote them, this is my job. The very job that has took me away from my family. The very job that created distances in my own mind. How did all this happen? I question this mind so much but what is the need for questions? I have to accept what is in fate for me. These trees, how calm they look, at times I wish I was like a tree. Calm, enjoying nature, watching the beauty of the sky at night. All I have has gone from my life. All of it. I feel like laughing hysterically, my mind is everywhere. I cannot concentrate on what I want to do, or what emotions to give out. The flashbacks keep playing in my mind. My world is spiralling in front of me, a beautiful sight but the outcome is not so good. The outcome is that my world becomes dark and lonely. I did so much for my family, for my wife and son. What didn't I do that was right? I can't understand what I did to get deceived like this.
Me, I am the most ruthless criminal out there and I get deceived. By my own people. My very own people deceive me. What should I do? Clap my hands in joy? Haha. How ironic is it that the very own people that you love, they hurt you so much that all the pain turns into a power that is beyond any human measurement. This power that surrounds me on this open park field. I raise my arms and feel the intoxication of this power consume me. This power that flows through the veins of my heart and silently touches my heart, it slowly...slowly...slowly takes over my heart. My eyes...they feel heavy, the energy makes me lose all control of my senses.
Silence...silence...silence...not one sound can be heard except for the breaths that I inhale and exhale. This power is flowing in each and every vein, in every vessel of my body, it has captivated my heart. As this power pumps through my body it reaches my mind. Two seconds of complete unconsciousness invades my life as the power hits my brain with great strength. As my eye lids slowly open, slightly heavy at first but they get lighter and lighter, it is a feeling of tranquility. My eyes concentration is on the tree that is directly opposite me. I take a deep breath in, it feels different, my body feels different, my vision is different. I am different. This is not me now. This is not what I usually feel, I am in complete control. As I look around now, this tree looks dark, it's different. This dark sky, is what is exactly in my mind. It is dark, my mind is full of fatalistic ideas. Ideas that can create havoc in this world. This night cannot get worse, it can only get better. This is my night, where I should rise up to my challenge. I want to be the biggest criminal but not any normal criminal. I want to do something different, I want to infiltrate information to make me achieve whatever I desire. What I desire is complete satisfaction in life and there is only one way. One way to reach this destination. One way to reach the very outcome of my aspiration to create a world of my own. A world with my rules. Every villain in this world wants world domination, I want domination in my world from now on. No more being nice to people. This time it is about my true colours, I will show them my true colour. This one colour that has lead me to become one with myself.
This oneness that has now took over me...has created one outcome and that is when two worlds come together as one. It leads to one powerful entity and that is the energy and persona of evil. I am Sameer and this is my story on how I became one with the power of evil.
Copyright © Chronicles of a Creative Writer. 2008 Rahul N. Singh. All Rights Reserved.
